Do and Don’ts for Brides

I don’t know about other cultures but if we use common sense I think the do and don’ts will not be that different. And if the things portrayed in Kdramas are reflections of their cultures it means their norms and ours are exactly the same.

In here, should the brides stay with her in-laws, she will be expected to help out with the household’s chores if not be the one responsible for it. It’s a big no for a bride to stay in bed watching TV or reading her favourite books and magazines while her in-laws are busy preparing the meal or washing dishes.

In the case where the brides are working and happen to stay with her in-laws once she is at home she is expected to take full responsibility of the caring of her children and not put the burden to her in-laws who already took care of them all day.

It is just about common sense and good manners. I couldn’t imagine there’s a woman who stays with her in-laws and not trying to be a domestic goddess in their eyes.

I couldn’t imagine there’s a woman who expects her in-laws to wait hand and foot for her – particularly not if she’s not the one with a fortune who owns the house and holds the purse strings. But apparently there’s one for I heard a complaint about a bride who does exactly what she shouldn’t do.

Who’s to blame?

Is it the fault of the bride’s family who doesn’t teach their daughter how to conduct herself in her in-laws’ house? Or is it her husband’s fault for not letting her know of his family expectations of her? Or is it the bride’s own fault for being a complete idiot?

I’ll go with the last one. Men are known to marry girl for their beauty and not their brains. But no women are that stupid. Some just don’t have good manners or incurably lazy. She should know that she can’t endear herself to her in-laws by behaving like a pig.

How to solve it? I have no idea. The in-laws won’t say a thing to her face. They’ll just keep on hating her. Her husband should try to address the issue but I don’t see he’ll succeed.

Perhaps she should try watching Kdramas and emulate the heroines who are always hard working and excel at cleaning not to mention being unfailingly polite to her extremely rude and mean in-laws.

To Do List

Things to do in 2012:

1. Finish the writing of 49 Days (Kang Ah and Shin Ji Hyun's story) which is supposed to be done last year.
2. Watch all Kdramas, Tdramas, Doramas (Jdramas) I’ve been planning to watch.
3. Read all those books I bought.
4. Put more efforts to really study those foreign languages I learned.
5. Keep a close watch on my finances and time management.
6. Go to Hajj.
and.....
7. Lose some weight!!

Review: Heaven Sword and Dragon Sabre (Yi Tian Tu Long Ji), the 2009 Version’s Rant

Amongst the Condor Trilogy by Jin Yong his last the Heaven Sword and Dragon Sabre is my favourite. No matter how many Wu Xia series I watch I think I would still love Heaven Sword and Dragon Sabre the most. I love almost everything about it. Almost.

The one and only thing that I don’t like about this great series is its male lead. Zhang Wu Ji. He has everything a hero should have: the looks, the lineage, the superior fighting skills, the big heart and the die-hard followers. His one and only weakness is women.

Despite being a great hero and all as a man I don’t consider him as an admirable one. I mean if he could be considerate yet decisive in his dealing with other people – should be read as men – all those admirable traits should also be applied when he is dealing with women. Unless he considers women less important than men hence not worthy of the same courtesies.

As I already mentioned above, Zhang Wu Ji’s interpersonal skills with other men are excellent but I hate the way he behaves around and deals with the five, okay, not five but four women in his life. And it is only four because Yang Bu Hui whom he’s saved and taken care of along their journey to find her father decides early in the game that she wants to marry his sixth uncle instead of him. Otherwise I could just imagine the kind of fights that we’ll see. The fights of five women over one wussy man.

I’m not blaming him for the fact that they all love him, at least not 100%, what turns me off is that knowing they all love him he chooses to do nothing about it. I mean if you know someone loves you –in his case it’s four women – and they declare their intentions to spend the rest of their lives with you, if you’re not freaking out or thanking God for his blessings what would you do?

Well, whatever it is, I’m sure you’ll have at least something to say.

But our hero Zhang Wu Ji doesn’t feel the slightest alarm or inclination to clarify things when he hears declaration of love and devotion from his servant Xiao Zhao. When she says she wants to spend the rest of her life serving him and asks him to take her along with him wherever he goes, he is happily accepting that ‘forever’ request.

Is he stupid or what? Does he think it’s fine to have this incredibly beautiful girl with him for the rest of her life and his for that matter without her ever marrying anybody else and just be his faithful servant? And if he marries won’t he consider how his wife would feel about this girl who is obviously in love with her husband? Let’s not forget that he’s already declaring himself as Yin Li/Zhu Er’s husband. With her temperament does he think she’ll let this out of this world beauty to stick to her husband and her ugly self?

Even Guo Jing the stupidest hero in Jin Yong’s trilogy from The Legend of Condor Heroes knows how to make the hard decision when it comes to the women in his life!

*Taking a deep breath to calm self*

I would like Zhang Wu Ji much better if he could be honest and straight forward with those girls and himself to prevent the heartaches and him looking like either a player or a man without honor.

No matter what time you’re in – Zhang Wu Ji was centuries behind this permissive age – or what culture you’re from –he’s from old China that was very strict in its rule of conducts between men and women – it’s wrong for a man to treat women as nicely and familiarly as he treats the women around him, and not expecting them to fall head over heels in love with him.

I know his character is written that way – so perhaps I should blame Jin Yong instead and agree with those who accuse him of being sexist – but I still long to hear him saying things like the simple ’I love you too ’or ‘Thank you for loving me but there are three other women who love me too. So how about the five of us live together happily ever after.’ Or ‘What? Sorry honey. I like you a lot. Don’t mind hugging and kissing you. But I already got myself a wife.’ Or ‘Er..…I need a little bit more time. If the other girls die, leave, or turn evil, I’ll marry you!’

A friend asks me why do I watch all the remakes of Heaven Sword and Dragon Sabre and whatever version that will come later when I already know its story by heart. Good question. With the way the male lead’s character irritates the hell out of me I shouldn’t bother.

为什么? Why? I guess the answer is because I’m desperately looking for a version where I could at least hate Zhang Wu Ji less. Too bad that instead of finding Zhang Wu Ji’s redeeming quality I keep seeing new scenes which drive me even madder.

The 2009 Heaven Sword and Dragon Sabre remake is extremely successful in intensifying all my hate for Zhang Wu Ji. In this version Deng Chao’s Zhang Wu Ji becomes extremely free and open with his affections. He touches, hugs, and kisses. No, I’m not exaggerating. This Zhang Wu Ji kisses girls!

Apparently coming from the 21st century the script writers of the 2009 Heaven Sword and Dragon Sabre has completely forgotten that Zhang Wu Ji lives in the 14th century where the briefest look and merest touch are more than enough to convey one’s hidden feelings.

I’m perfectly fine if they want to change one or two things from the original story and make cute memorable lines and gestures all they like, in fact please do, but I’m terribly upset when they take liberal liberty in changing the main story and thus turning the already not that sterling male lead into a despicable man!

Hating is not fun. It’s hard to hate the male lead in your favourite series. It’s hard to hate the main guy when you love the main girl to pieces. It’s hard to watch your favourite couple together and make you all bubbly with happiness when in the next instant that very same guy is romancing other girls. Three other girls with the same intensity and smooth romantic lines!

For those who are not familiar with the story I apologize for not giving the necessary background of the characters and the plot in the first place. Yi Tian Tu Long Ji is about the rebellion of the Han Chinese against their rulers who are from Yuan Dynasty (Mongolians).

However, for decades their rebellions are not coordinated, sporadic and done individually until the Ming sect under Zhang Wu Ji’s leadership unites all the sects in the martial world and launches their attacks in the form of military offences.

When they finally succeeds in defeating the Yuan Dynasty Zhang Wu Ji is asked to be the new King but he refuses to be the first King of the Han people’s Dynasty and chooses to leave all the fame and glory behind just to be with the woman he loves.

The 2009 Heaven Sword and Dragon Sabre tries to create a new angle in its efforts to foster Zhang Wu Ji – Zhou Zhi Ruo’s pairing but since this particular angle is not consistent with the original storyline it only makes Zhang Wu Ji looks worst than he already does. As for other characters they look like they are being possessed by alien and we could no longer find their original personalities.

The somber Zhou Zhi Ruo turns into Zhao Min wannabe. While Zhao Min turns into a quiet and meek girl. The vengeful Zhu Er who hates Zhou Zhi Ruo's guts after her resurrection suddenly becomes full of mercy and goes batty again when she’s supposed to be cured.

The ending of the 2009 version pisses me off real bad!

Let’s bring on board some of its predecessors to see how they are doing:

1) The original, the 1986 Heaven Sword and Dragon Sabre:
It doesn’t have the great special effects or beautiful clothes that the latter versions have but it is perhaps the closest to its original story (the novel). Tony Leung who plays Zhang Wu Ji has tons of screen charms so his Zhang Wu Ji mostly comes off as an adorable naïve fool – not a player – who falls for every pretty face he sees. While Kitty Lai’s Zhao Min is probably my favourite Zhao Min.

2) TVB production, the 2000 Heaven Sword and Dragon Sabre:
It features Lawrence Ng as Zhang Wu Ji and Gigi Lai as Zhao Min and if my hazy memory serves me right it doesn’t turn me into a complete hater of Zhang Wu Ji’s character.

3) The 2003 remake:
This Heaven Sword and Dragon Sabre gives us a very beautiful couple. Alec Su as Zhang Wu Ji and Allissa Chia as Zhao Min. It has a few scenes that bring forth my dislike for Zhang Wu Ji’s character’s flaws but on the other side it also has many cute and memorable scenes to redeem itself. And I love their Zhang Wu Ji and Zhao Min’s moments so much. Have I mentioned how beautiful Alissa Chia is?

Ady An’s Zhao Min is probably the most beautiful Zhao Min ever however her Zhao Min is the weakest Zhao Min of all. The 2009 version’s Zhao Min has lost her edges. She loses her cunning, wickedness and even pride.

They turn her into a mere puppet of Chen Kun. Someone who just unknowingly falls into his plans while in the previous Heaven Sword and Dragon Sabre remakes the down fall of the martial world is brilliantly orchestrated by Zhao Min while Chen Kun just jumps into her band wagon when he sees that it would fit perfectly with his plan to destroy Ming sect.

Princess Min Temur (Zhao Min) is called the Evil Woman and hated by all the leaders of the biggest sects in the land with a good reason. But the 2009 version changes this brilliant, shrewd and prideful Princess into a stalker and submissive girl.

One of my most hated scenes is when Zhao Min follows Zhang Wu Ji and Zhou Zhi Ruo while they have their romantic outing. Argh, how I hate that scene! It’s so not Zhao Min! I won’t forgive the writers for destroying my favourite female character like this. There’s so much more to rant but I’ll stop here.

I desperately need a new version of Heaven Sword and Dragon Sabre ASAP to erase all the bad after tastes that refuse to go away after seeing the 2009 version of Heaven Sword and Dragon Sabre.

Missing Deadline

I hate it when I miss deadline. Particularly if that said deadline is set and screwed by none other than myself. The most recent case is my plan to write Kang Ah’s story and post it here by October. Yet up to this very moment I haven’t written anything, well, I’ve written a few pages for episode 1 but that’s all about it.

I don’t even know whether I would be able to finish the whole thing by the end of this year. Not to make excuses, I’m in the middle of training and won’t be able to return home until November (the weekends’ leaves don’t count for we still have tons of chores to do). And before the training there’s fasting month which took a lot of one’s free time.

But nonetheless, the inability to deliver a product/target on schedule is a sign of a bad management.

No wonder nobody likes to reflect. It sucks. Missing a deadline is bad. Knowing you are bad manager to boot is a kill joy.

In a Rush? Need to be Swift?

Speeding and cutting are the answer. And those are some of the reasons why I love driving.

However, if you live in Jakarta you’ll know that it’s impossible to speed here. My top speed is 60 km/hour. Or 80 - 100 on the toll/highway. Yeah, I’m such a racer.

And when I say cutting what I really mean is changing lane from the one which is not moving to the other one which is slightly better.

Now, without meaning to offend Toyoto or pleasing Suzuki I’d like to make some comparison betwen the two. My Toyoto Rush is an automatic one while my Suzuki Swift is a manual one.

Here is my thought:

1). If you love to speed and cutting other people like I do, Suzuki Swift is definitely the better choice. The exchange of gears is smooth and swift while the body is small enough to fit in any tight space betwen cars.

2) But if you live in Jakarta with its deadly traffic jams having an automatic car helps a lot. And if you’re not that into speeding and cutting other people and are one of those who stick to which ever lane you happen to be, having an automatic car will suit you well.

3) If you love to go to the shopping malls like I do having a city car like Swift is better than the big fat Rush.

4) But if you live/work in an area which is frequented by floods and plague with bad roads having a Toyoto Rush is without a doubt the best thing for you.

And last but not least this is not a promotion or defamation of either! I’m just writing what I thought about the two different cars that I have. So don’t sue me!

SS 501 Because I'm Stupid's Lyric

Talking about Boy Band SS 501 is my favourite.

Talking about Kdramas Boys Before Flower (Korean version of Hana Yori Dango) isn't really on my list of the best, but I love its ost Because I'm Stupid a lot.

I'm spreading the love for the group and the ost here.

Enjoy!


Because I'm Stupid (You're Beautiful Ost)

내 머리는 너무나 나빠서
Ne morinen nomuna nappaso / I’m really, very foolish
너 하나밖에 난 모르고
No hanapakke nan morego / I know of no one other than you
다른 사람을 보고있는 넌
Daren saramel pogoittnen non / You’re looking at someone else
이런 내마음도 모르겠지
Iron nema-emdo moregettji / Yet you have no idea of my feelings like this


너의 하루에 나란 없겠지
Noei harue naran obtkettji / I won’t be in your days
또 추억조차 없겠지만
Tto chu’okjocha obtkettjiman / I won’t be in the memories either, however
너만 바라만 보고있는 난
Noman baraman bogoittnen nan / Only you, I looked only at you
자꾸 눈물이 흐르고있어
jakku nunmuli heregoisso / And the tears keep coming

너의 뒷모습을 보는것도 난 행복이야
Noei dwetmosebel bonenkotdo nan hengbokiya / As I watch you walking past, I’m still happy
아직 나의 마음을 몰라도
Ajik naei ma-emel mollado / Even though you still don’t know my heart
끝내 스치듯이 가도
Kkeutne sech’idesi kado / I should stop this and go

니가 너무 보고싶은 날엔
Niga nomu bogosip’en nalen / I really want to see the day
너무 견디기 힘든 날에는
Nomu kyendigi himden nalenen / I’m withstanding the pain each day
너를 사랑한다 입가에 맴돌아
Norel saranghanda ibgae memdola / “I love you” is playing on my lips
혼자 다시 또 crying for you
Honja dasi tto CRYING FOR YOU / Alone once again, crying for you
혼자 다시 또 missing for you
Honja dasi tto MISSING FOR YOU / Alone once again, missing for you
Baby! I love you! I’m waiting for you!

너의 하루에 난 없겠지
Noei harue nan optgettji / I won’t be in your days
또 기억조차 없겠지만
Tto kieokjocha optgettjiman / I won’t be remembered either, however
너만 바라만 보고있는 나
Noman paraman bogoittnen nan / Only you, I looked only at you
혼자 추억을 만들고 있어
Honja chuokel mandelgo isseo / I’m making memories alone


내겐 사랑이란 아름다운 상처같아
Nagen sarangiran aremdaun sangchokat’a / Loving you is like having a beautiful wound
너의 예쁜 미소를 보아도
Noei yeppeun misorel boado / I look at your pretty smile also
함께 난 웃지도 못해
Hamkke nan utjido mothe / But I cannot laugh with you

니가 너무 생각나는 날엔
Niga nomu senggaknanen nalen / I’m thinking about you so much everyday
가슴 시리고 슬픈 날에는
Kasem sirigo selp’en nalenen / My heart is hurting in all these sad days
니가 보고싶다 입가에 맴돌아
Niga pogosip’ta ibgae memdola / “I want to see you” is playing on my lips
혼자 다시 또 crying for you
Honja dasi tto CRYING FOR YOU / Alone once again, crying for you
혼자 다시 또 missing for you
Honja dasi tto MISSING FOR YOU / Alone once again, missing for you
Baby! I love you! I’m waiting for you!


Bye, bye, never say goodbye
이렇게 잡지 못하지만
Irohke japji mothajiman / Even though I cannot hold you like this
I need you 아무 말도 못해 I want you
I need you amu maldo mothe I want you / I need you, I cannot say anything more, I want you
바래도 다시 바래도
Paredo dasi paredo / I keep on hoping too, I’ll keep hoping….


니가 너무 보고싶은 날엔
Niga nomu pogosip’en nalen / I really want to see the day
너무 견디기 힘든 날에는
Nomu kyendigi himdel naleneun / I’m withstanding the pain each day
너를 사랑한다 입가에 맴돌아
Norel saranghanda ipkae memdola / “I love you” is playing on my lips
혼자 다시 또 crying for you
Honja dasi tto CRYING FOR YOU / Alone once again, crying for you


니가 너무 생각나는 날엔
Niga nomu senggaknanen nalen / I’m thinking about you so much everyday
가슴 시리고 슬픈 날에는
Kasem sirigo selp’en naleneun / My heart is hurting in all these sad days
니가 보고싶다 입가에 맴돌아
Niga pogosip’da ipka memdola / “I want to see you” is playing on my lips
혼자 다시 또 crying for you
Honja dasi tto CRYING FOR YOU / Alone once again, crying for you
혼자 다시 또 missing for you
Honja dasi tto MISSING FOR YOU / Alone once again, missing for you
Baby! I love you! I’m waiting for you! /
credit to heygingersnap(at)bww2

Bore to Death!

I don’t think I’m ever this bored before. Everyone seems to have something great to do. My best friends are doing their business trips. Some go to other provinces together and the other go to Australia and won’t be back till the end of the month. And by the end of the month my boss will also go to Darwin and Perth. It makes me feel like I want to go somewhere too when I actually don’t.

By next week, we’re sending all of our staff to other provinces all over the country. I could go wherever I want if I want to travel too. But although I like the idea of being somewhere else I have no fond for things that relate to a trip.

Not to mention the fact that I’d probably end up chairing a meeting when the Provincial people invite all the Districts people to come over. Or having a formal talk with the head of our Provincial office. Nope. Not fun at all. Moreover, I hate flying and the time differences that necessitate me to wake in the very wee hour.

I know that my boredom has nothing to do with lack of things to do. Because although the 16 -17 working hours have ended and I’m finally back to my normal working hours which are about 11 hours a day there’s still pressing job to be done.
It’s almost impossible for my job to come to a complete full stop for thing has always come up on top of each other.

At this moment, I have to check one of our financial reports. It’s about 100 pages and full of incorrect figures and graphics. Is that why I’m feeling bored?

Nah….now everything about financial reports should only give me thrill and make me glow with happiness for our hard work has paid off incredibly well. We’ve finally got the coveted unqualified opinion for the first time ever!

*jumping up and down, singing and shouting: We’ve got the unqualified opinion!*

Yes, nothing to feel bored at all!

And here’s another reason why I should feel ecstatic instead of feeling this way: I’ve got a brand new car! A totally cool and expensive brand new car!

Indeed, I was ecstatic but only for a short time. I think my father is more excited about this brand new car than me. He postpones his trip to our village in order to see it.

My mother told me that he’s been boasting to his fiends about it even before it comes to our garage. And besides he has another reason to be happy: he’ll be in charge of my other cool car which is only three years old. The car that I never let him touch before now will be his.

*sigh*

Is that why I’m feeling this way? Does it mean it’s not boredom at all? Do I feel restless then? Or unhappy?


The problem is when I’m bored, restless or unhappy I have a tendency to splurge. Come to think of it I do have very bad habits when I’m feeling bad. I either eat a lot or spend a lot!

Wait a minute! I also have tendency to give away a lot of money when I feel the urge to be a good daughter. Didn’t I just spend thousands of US dollars just a couple of months ago for my father? And didn’t I feel the urge to just give him the money last night when he mentioned how expensive he found the cost of the wheel that he bought?

Gosh! I always pay attention to finance. Even way before I become an accountant, okay since I was in the elementary school, I always take a careful note of how much money I have and how much money I spend in a day.

How come I suddenly loose interest in my own finance now? How come I no longer find that spending thousands and thousands of US dollars matter? How come I no longer have the interest to watch my debit and credit?

If this is what a boredom do to me I’m definitely in trouble!